Conflict can cause uncomfortable and anxiety-filled experiences for anyone. So what do we do when conflict arises? There are many ways people handle conflict, but some of those ways are healthy and unhealthy. On this episode, join Crystal Chiang, Tom Shefchunas, Stuart Hall, and Brett Talley for a conversation on how to handle conflict as a youth ministry leader, and why it’s important that our students see youth workers handle conflict in a healthy way.


  • What are the fears that cause us to dread conflict? (2:30)
  • Choose your battles carefully and decisively. (2:45)
  • There is no such thing as avoiding conflict—it’s delaying it. (12:00)
  • Recognize where your conflict management training came from. (15:45)
  • It’s important to think about the purpose of the conflict and where the conflict will lead. (18:30)
  • Conflict without trust leads to pessimism. (21:00)
  • If you shield yourself from all conflict, you stop growing. (23:30)
  • How do you recognize when conflict is healthy and when it isn’t? (24:00)
  • We have to teach teenagers how to have conflict with each other. (32:00)
  • Students have to see us work out conflict together. (37:00)
  • State what you observe. State how you interpret what was said or done. Ask the person to clarify. (45:00)
  • Easy learning never equals strong skills. (50:00)


Book: Radical Candor – Kim Scott

Book: Level Three Leadership – James Clawson

Book: Dare to Lead – Dr. Brene Brown

Book: How to Have That Difficult Conversation – Dr. Henry Cloud

Book: Crucial Conversations – Kerry Patterson

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